How am I to love another?
When you were the one I worshiped?
Look, as I write this I am old enough to know that there will be a day where I will love someone else. For love isn’t a limited resource and you can love someone without being their’s forever for love doesn’t need to be forever for it to be true.
I know that your love for me was true and I know that my love for you was true but I guess we had too many things in our own heads and to many things in our own lives to be able to continue and that is okay but where I stand today I do not know how I can go ahead and love someone else.
How am I to love another? When you were the one I worshiped, the one I swore my allegiance to and the one that I yearned for. When your soul was the one that I called home and when you were the god that I prayed to. How am I love another when you were the one that owned my breath and had all my love
How am i to love another when you were the one that I wanted to grow old with. When I wanted to explore your soul and make maps about it. How am i to love another when I wanted to hear about all your passions and all the things that the inner child within you always wanted said. How am I to love another when your dreams had become mine. How am i to love another, god tell me how am i to love another when your words were gospel and your smile was my peace. oh for fucks sake how the fuck am i to fucking love another
How am I to love another when my heart swayed with your hair and how am i to love another when your smile lines were the ones that brought heat to my soul.
how am i to love another. how.
for that can’t be fair to them nor could it be fair to you. How am i supposed to look at someone’s soul through their eyes and tell them that my allegiance had already been pledged. that we stand here today not because I searched for them my entire life but rather only after you left. Sure nothing wrong in being in relationships before; I mean purity culture pisses me the fuck off so while must we follow the same emotionally also. but something about the depth of emotions that I felt with her makes this all feel so fucking wrong.
But maybe that is how love is meant to be, maybe there aren’t any red strings tying the “forever one” to us, maybe love is meant to be a trial and error until you find the one that understands and gets you. Maybe that is just how it is meant to be
Maybe this was the problem that I ran into – maybe the problem was the fact that she owned me rather than was a part of my life and maybe that is why we never really lasted for it wasn’t really ever 2 people
